Yeah so last night I watched Two For The Money…..
So basically this is about an ex-college football player who goes to New York to be a handicapper. Once there he develops a very close relationship with his Boss(Al Pacino, who consequently often reminds me of my dad in many of his films) and Pacino becomes a father figure to him. He soaks this up as his father left when he was like 9 and was abusive and absent most of his life….anyway…there is a pivotal point in the movie where he realizes that he was so desperate to develop this father-son relationship that he has become someone he isn’t….he decides that he is no longer going to act this out and be himself again. There is a lot more to it, but I am tired and want to go to bed
This just really struck me as this has long been a desire of mine. My dad was an alcoholic and rarely around in my early childhood, and when he finally sobered up and decided that he wanted to make up for lost time, I was busy being resentful. We did finally connect for a little while before he past away. Anyway…I have searched out men to “father” me as long as I can remember……I recently read To Own A Dragon, by Donald Miller, and in it he explains that there isn’t a man on earth who can truly fill that hole…sure some guys can step in and fill part of it, but no one can really fully replace your father…..except God….He longs to be our Father, probably more then the best earthly-father a boy could have. Miller’s point was basically we need to let go of this desire and give it to God and start looking to Him for that fathering. Now this movie had a lot of language in it…fair warning…but it is truly an amazing example of how we men desire to be fathered.
There are some things that God is carving out in my heart lately that I really need prayer about….I can’t go into details here….but it has to do with some directions I feel He may be leading me in….