All Things Goofy

A short post today….there is some exciting news at www.senecal.us!!!

Have you ever stopped, thought for a minute, and discovered that you had lost yourself? And not in a good way, but a bad way. You get so caught up in “stuff” that you no longer recognize who you have become. The ideals that you have held so dearly have mysteriously slipped away. This is where I have found myself frequently lately. My life has been a whirlwind of change since I graduated from high school many eons ago. Up to that point in my life I was highly predictable. I was a born-again, hockey-loving, underachieving computer nerd born and raised in New Egypt, NJ. I stepped out into the world in June of 1990 and became a whirlwind of change. I went off to college. I flunked out of college. I tried out about 5 different community college. I gave up on college. I moved to Virginia. I moved back to NJ. I moved to Nashville. I moved 3 times in just over 2 years while in Nashville. I moved back to NJ. I got married. In the next 8 years I had two kids and moved 3 times around NJ. Now I am in Nashville. In 2008 I will have been out of high school for as long as I had been alive when I graduated. During this chaos I began to understand that there was a call on life. God has called me to the ministry. Very likely, and yet…not. I can’t speak in front of a large group of people. I am definately not your “typical” Christian. I was once, and I think that is a good part of me that I lost. Point being….I had 18 years of stability and calm, followed by nearly 18 years of chaos. I think I am about to head into a different stage of my life. I’d like to say it is going to be a stage of calm…but I don’t think that is going to happen. Yet, I don’t think it will be chaos….well, maybe controlled chaos. Actually, that is what it has always been. God has always been in control and has directed my steps the last 18 years that have appeared as total chaos to me, my wife, and most of my family and friends.

So I sit here this morning, trying to figure out where I am, where God wants me, and what I need to do to start out in that direction. I feel that I have totally lost myslef somewhere over the course of the last year. My relationship with God had been getting closer to where He wants it. Shoot…I was actually in a place where I could hear Him speak to me…and follow through with it…regardless of the insanity of the idea of uprooting my family and moving them halfway across the country away from our family and friends. I’ve gotten so wrapped up in busy-ness, that I have lost that which is dearest to me. My realtionship with God and my wife have suffered immensely. So now, I sit and ponder and I wonder why? God would send…oh wait sorry…got TobyMac in my head now…I wonder why I let myself get to this point and more importantly–how do I get back to the place where God was my best friend, my Father, my Abba. And then…it is quite simple. I need to lose my self.

I mentioned in my previous post that Jon Foreman was releasing 4 EP’s in the next year entitled: Fall, Winter, Spring, and Summer. The rumored release was apparently wrong. I just found out that the first EP will be released next tuesday at jonforeman.com. He has some samples up now and I must admit, I am really looking forward to the release!

For those of you who know me, you know that Switchfoot is my musical first love.  Their music rocks, their lyrics are deep and meaningful, and the guys, well…they  are beyond AWESOME!  A few months ago, the guys announced that they had negotiated their way ot of their contract with Columbia Records and were striking out on their own.  They quickly announced big plans for the forthcoming year.  Tee ban is working on a new album. Jon Foreman(lead singer) is releasing 4 EP’s in the next year titled “Fall”, “Winter”,  “Spring”, and “Summer.”  The first two, Fall and Winter are rumored to be released Jan 15, 2008.  Finally Jon would also be teaming up with Sean Watkins of Nickel Creek fame to release an album together as “The Real SeanJon.”

Well they have released the first song on their newly formed independent label, Lowercase People Records.  It is titled Rebuild and was co-written by Jon Foreman and Matt Theissen of Relient K.  Performed by Switchfoot, with special appearances by Theissen and  Dustin Ruth from Ruth.  The song is available for download for a donation of time or money to Habitat For Humanity, and if for some reason you can’t do either of those right now, they still want you to have it.  The song was originally inspired by Habitat for Humanity and quickly took on new meaning to the guys as a few hours after writing it this summer at the Creation East festival, Releiaent K’s bus caught on fire on their way to their next show.  Recently, as the guys were starting their tour, even more meaning was added as their hometown of San Diego was threatened by the worse wildfires they had ever seen.

The guys are currently touring with Relient K and Ruth on the “Appetite for Destruction” tour.  A portion of the proceeds from the tour are going to suppurt “Habitat for Humanity”

Yesterday’s post helped me move on….so now….it is back to the grindstone….

I am working on quite a few projects right now, but for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel pressured to get things done.  I’m not really sure why, but I feel like I am finally regaining focus.   Who knows how long it will last, but at least for now…it’s here!

I’m rambling in hopes that whatever it is that is swirling around in my head trying to get out will find its way through my fingers and onto the screen.  I guess that is just wishful thinking however.

OK…..maybe not….

A friend of mine recently informed me that he has moved in with his boyfriend.  He was taken back by my response.   Knowing my stance on homosexuality, he thought for sure I would slam him, tell him what a sinner he was, etc.  At least that is what I assume he thought as he never clarified exactly what he expected my response to be, just that it wasn’t as he imagined.  You see, I told him I can understand that decision.  I’ve struggled with various sins in my life(Very true! I know you all are shocked.) and can completely understand hitting a point where you want to give up.  I told him that he is still my friend, that nothing would change in our relationship and I still loved him.  I told him that I don’t agree with what he is doing, but that it was between him and God at this point.  I will be there for him. Period.

I have a tendecy to react without thinking or being able to explain the why behind my actions.  This is one of them.  I am working on an explanation, but it is slow going.  This response “felt” right.  Maybe one day soon….I’ll be able to put it into words.  Hopefully, it’s just the Holy Spirit working through me and showing be the way to behave. 

This past Tuesday I had to make the hardest decision of my life.  We had to put my cat, Puck, down.  I loved that cat.  She was given to me by a friend in one of the darkest times of my life.  Right after I moved back to Jersey from TN and before I met my wife.  I hadn’t felt love like that from anyone or anything before that time.  My family loved me, but it wasn’t the same.  Everyday I came home from work, she was at the door waiting for me.  She would follow me around until I picked her up and held her over my shoulder like a baby.  She would just put her chin on my shoulder and let her little paws hang down my back, as trusting and content as physically possible.  When Erica came into my life, she was not very happy about the competition.  One of the first times Erica came  to my apt, Puck peed on her jacket to let her know who was boss.  Erica wasn’t a cat person and that didn’t help much, but that little cat won her over.  Puck had a way about her…she knew instantly if you were a cat person or not…if you weren’t she was relentlessly in your lap.  She had more personality then all the cats I have ever glimpsed an eye upon put together.Those big green eyes would stare you down one minute, then look up at you seeking complete pity for the extreme lack of attention she knew she suffered   Those cries in the middle of the night as she carried her little baby mouse around so sweetly.  The constant begging at the table when ever we had steak…or chicken…or, well, almost anything.  We often swore she thought she was a dog.

She used to drive me nuts with her relentlessly trying to sit in my lap when I was working.  The last few days I’d give anything to have her lying there, purring away.  Some times, I forget she’s gone.  I want to go looking for her and sweep her up onto my shoulder.  Then I remember and I feel that emptiness.  I wanted to write this days ago, but couldm’t.  The mere thought of putting this pain out in the open was frightening.  It still is.  I feel so guilty.  She fought so hard to pretend there was nothing on as the final months rolled by…for me.  She was there for me right til the end.  I know it was the right thing….she was in so much pain….I know it was for the best…I know God is in control..and yes, even the little things, like a cat, are things He cares about.  But that doesn’t take away the pain.  But He helps.  when we left the vet on Tuesday, I started driving and couldn’t handle the silence, so I turned on the radio.  A song was just starting…Amazing Grace(My Chains Are Gone)….don’t tell me God doesnt pay attn to the little things.

Somebody told me I need to run out and get another cat.  I can’t.  I don’t ever want another cat.  Don’t get me wrong…we still have another…Phantom is fine and fat and loving as ever…but he isn’t Puck.  I love him all the same, but he is it…I don’t think I will ever own another cat.  I grew up a dog person….maybe that’s why Puck and I got along so well…she thought she was a dog.  There will never be another Puck.

I love you, Puck. RIP

Hey guys…this is a little offtopic for me…but is for a good cause…my nieces

http://www.emaphotography.com/blog/

please go to this link and vote for photo 9.   My nieces are in this contest and need some help to win!!!!
Thanks

Brian

I just started a new blogring….  Raising A Modern-Day Knight

It is inspired by a book by Robert Lewis of the same name.  It is a call to fathers to raise their sons to be Godly men.  I am very excited, as often happens, I lost my copy of this book.  I have a habit of lending out books without concern for their return and apparently this was a victim of that.  BUT!!  I found it at a used book store that was closing up shop for a mere $1.00!!! WOOOOO HOOOOOO!!! So I am re-reading it, as Anthony is now 8, the reccomended age as I remember it to really get rolling on some of the practical things in the book.  Please feel free to join!!!

Brian

I am very sad right now.

Last night I lost a childhood friend.  We were never close, but he was from one of the happiest times in my childhood.

When I was about 12 my parents started letting my walk the 1/10th of mile down the road to our neighbors, New Egypt Speedway.  Back then it was a 1/4 mile asphalt track that featured the NASCAR modifieds.  I watched the likes of Jimmy Spencer, The Bodine brothers, Steve Park, and even Ray Evernham race around the tiny oval.  My favorite driver in the modifieds…one John Blewett, Jr.–he drove a red, white, and blue #76 and was a winner.  His son, John Blewett III, and I used to hang out and play matchboxes, etc while waiting for the racing to really get going.

John III went on to follow in and surpass his dad’s footsteps.  He won the 1996 NASCAR Dodge Weekly Series Northeast Regional Championship, numerous track titles, and 10 NASCAR Modifed Tour features.

Last night while racing hard with his little brother, Jimmy, for the lead in the New England Dodge Dealers 150 at Thompson Speedway in CT, they tangled and Jimmys car landed on the roof of John’s.  Jimmy jumped right out, and started frantically signalling for safety crews for his brother. John suffered extensive head and neck injuries and was pronounced dead at Hubbard Regional Hospital.

My prayers go out to John’s family.

Rest In Peace John

We have a guest tonight….

Anthony went out to take out the trash when we got home….Erica heard him scream…went out there…apparently when he turned around to head back to the house, the dog was between him and the house…being a little timid around dogs, he freaked…..you can see how mean and ferocious he is

He had no collar, was way overheated and has a decent wound on his side.  Looks like maybe he is a Lab/Shepherd mix?  Anyway…we reported him to the police and tomorrow Ill call some vets and make some flyers….he can stay til we find his owner…if we don’t, well…who knows

As far as the all-nighter—-it was successful in the list of accomplishments for the day…the only thing I didnt get done was testing my build, and I didn’t take the kids to the park(the heat was tooooo much), but we did spend family time together….watched a movie!  However it did nothing for my schedule.

In other news, we had a great 2 week sales period for the copany…better then any other two week period!

Well—Its been a long day and I am beat….gonna head to bed!